Ford Edge or similar: that’s what my Avis hire car booking said. And if I really squinted, I guess the vehicle to which I was handed the key at Houston Intercontinental airport was broadly similar to a Ford Edge.
Sort of. Maybe. Well, not at all, really.
Because instead of a middling US-market SUV, in front of me was a Jeep Wrangler 4xe (the plug-in hybrid one). Result. And it was all down to those two glorious words: or similar.
When you’re booking a hire car, ‘or similar’ does a lot of heavy lifting. Hire car firms offer a dizzying array of machinery, so they usually can give you an example of a common vehicle of the right size.
Which is useful. But chances are that when you arrive at the counter, the car awaiting you won’t be a version of the example given. In fact, often ‘or similar’ nets you something that really isn’t very similar at all.
And it’s this unknown that makes the gloriously anticipatory ‘what will I get?’ moment that occurs when I approach the counter one of the highlights of any trip.
Having family out in the US, I’ve played the hire car lottery at Houston airport many times, and I’ve struck the jackpot on many occasions.
The Wrangler 4xe was a highlight, of course, not least because Texas is somewhat more favourable than the UK for taking the roof and doors off.
A more recent trip netted a Dodge Charger, which sounded glorious even with a 3.6-litre Pentastar V6 rather than a 5.7-litre Hemi V8 (just don’t mention the terrible fuel economy).
Then there was the time I ended up with a Fiat 500, which proved a little intimidating in a state that loves great big pick-up trucks more than any other.
At traffic lights, Ford F-150 drivers could literally look down at me through my sunroof. Still, I left them standing when we came to corners.
Of course, for every epic hire car you win in the lottery, there will be a greater variety of models that prove somewhat more mundane.
But even that can help you gain an appreciation for cars that you might otherwise avoid. Having hired a few, I have a soft spot for the first-generation Kia Soul.
In my past life as a motorsport journalist, I had a lot of fun covering the Ulster Rally in a Peugeot 1007 and struck gold on the narrow lanes of the Isle of Man with a Ford Ka.
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Unfortunately when you hire a van, it always means a noisy and smelly diesel with a 6-speed manual gearbox which requires hundreds of gearchanges to navigate a city centre. Then it costs a small fortune to refuel with disgusting diesel, which invariably gets all over your hands when you use the pump. I dream of the day that I turn up and they offer me an electric van instead. That day cannot come soon enough.
These days it just seems to be a contstant line of MG ZS, Golf Mk8 and Peugeot 2008 I end up getting. Dont have anything good to report about any of them unfortunately!
Mostly, however, that Focus "or similar" ends up being a B-SUV, like a Moka, or a Puma, or a 500X that had to be the worst car I've ever rented ( did you know there are rentals out there with over 100K in mileage? I sure didn't. Thanks Europcar )
And I don't care what rental agencies tell you, a B-SUV is not similar, and definitely not an upgrade, from a Focus. Even you charge more for them.
Damn. Got shafted with an A3.